Jo wasn’t stupid, but she sure felt like an idiot. She’d let her stubbornness get the best of her, again, and now she had to make a choice. Sit in the car for the next three hours in the chill of December or go into an auditorium teeming with rambunctious children and their parents.
Deep down, she’d known it was too soon to leave the house, especially for something as big as the Holiday Extravaganza the community center was putting on. Even still, she was so desperate for some sense of normalcy that she’d put up with anything to get it. Then, when both Spencer and her mom tried to talk her out of going, she knew she couldn’t give in. It didn’t matter that they already knew the truth; she couldn’t admit to them that they were right. She wasn’t ready.
Pasting on a smile, she tucked her uneasiness down as deep as she could. It wouldn’t be the first time she hid her suffering behind a smile, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. She could feel her dad’s eyes on her, so she turned to look at him, hoping he’d pretend he couldn’t read between the lines. Her mom and Spencer were already inside helping to wrangle the kids and get them ready for their parts. Amelia and Rebecca were going to meet them there at some point, though Jo wasn’t sure she was ready for the meet-the-girlfriend part of the night.
“You sure about this?” her dad asked, even though he already knew the answer. She got most of her stubbornness from him after all.
“Yep. Let’s do this.”
The bravado she attempted to put into her voice was lacking conviction, but her dad let it slide. Better than anyone else, he understood her need to put everything behind her, at least for one night. He’d gone through something similar when he’d been shot and nearly died. His recovery had been difficult; the forced retirement made the situation worse.
He waited for her to open the door before doing the same. Jo appreciated that he was letting her take the lead, but part of her needed him to force her hand. At some point, her nature would probably fail, and she’d have nothing to fall back on. The last thing she wanted was to hear “I told you so” from her family.
“Your mom and Spencer said we should come backstage to see them before the show starts. Are you okay with that?”
She nodded. “That works for me. Spencer said he wanted me to meet Ellie. It’s probably a good idea to do that before things start. I’m not sure I’ll have it in me to stick around at the end.”
It was the closest she was going to get to admitting she’d made a mistake. Her dad didn’t say anything, which was a nice change of pace. If it had been her mom standing next to her, Jo wouldn’t have heard the end of it. Instead, he linked his arm with hers and started walking toward the high school auditorium.
Five minutes later, they were surrounded by children running in every direction, parents and volunteers following behind them. Some carried costumes, while others were laden with props. Jo had no idea how they all weren’t losing their minds. Or maybe they were, but were a hell of a lot better at hiding it than she was.
Jo’s palms started to sweat as she scanned the chaos for Spencer. Since her return, he’d become her rock, her solace. If there was anyone who could calm her racing heart, it was him. The reaction she had to him still confused her, but that wasn’t going to stop her from taking what his presence offered.
“They’re over here,” her dad said, the deep timbre of his voice easy to hear over the high-pitched giggles and screams of the surrounding crowd.
She let him lead her through the crowd, wondering how she could’ve missed Spencer, but as they got closer, she realized the problem. He was crouched down in front of a blonde girl, fixing the nutcracker costume she was wearing.
“Hey, you guys made it,” her mom said as she let her husband pull her into a hug.
Despite all their years of marriage, they had a hard time keeping their hands off of each other, even in public. Jo both loved it and hated it. And was absolutely jealous of it.
“Oh, Ellie, this is the person I’ve been wanting you to meet,” Spencer told the little girl as he stood up.
Ellie tilted her head to the side and scrunched up her nose. “I already know Mr. Richard,” she said matter-of-factly.
Spencer laughed as he reached out for Jo’s hand. “Not him, silly. This is Miss Jo, my best friend.”
Ellie scrunched up her nose again. “Your best friend is a girl?”
“Yep, I do.”
Ellie looked at Jo like she wasn’t quite sure what to think. Jo didn’t know if it was the girl best friend part that threw her off or that she was trying to figure out if Jo was worthy of Spencer; either way, though, the little girl’s scrutiny was a bit overwhelming.
“You’re pretty,” Ellie said, finally breaking the tension that was building. At least inside of Jo. She didn’t know if anyone else was aware of it.
“Thank you, so are you,” Jo said as she crouched down so she was closer to Ellie’s level. “Mr. Spencer has told me a lot about you. It sounds like you do a really good job at keeping him in line. I know he can be a handful at times, especially when he gets distracted.”
“Yes!” Ellie nodded emphatically. “ He gets distracted a lot. Someday, he’s going to get hurt.”
“I guess we’ll just have to keep an eye on him, and remind him to pay attention.”
Jo could hear her parents trying to hold back a laugh behind her until Spencer let out an exasperated sigh.
“Great, maybe introducing them wasn’t a great idea. Now they’re going to gang up on me.”
“Somebody needs to make sure you’re okay. Why not two of your best friends,” Jo said, earning a giggle from the little girl.
“Yeah, Mr. Spencer. Friends look out for each other.”
The smile that lit up Spencer’s face was one she’d never seen before, but one she hoped to see again. He was different with Ellie. Even with everything still hanging over their heads, he seemed more carefree than he had in a very long time.
“They sure do,” he said before glancing at his watch. “Looks like it’s almost showtime. Mr. Richard and Miss Jo need to go find their seats and we need to get you over to the other side of the stage.”
“Okey dokey,” Ellie said with a bounce. “It was great to meet you, Miss Jo. Hopefully, you can come to the center sometime and we can play. Bye Mr. Richard.”
Ellie didn’t wait for Jo or her dad to respond before she ran off after a gaggle of other kids in similar costumes.
“I can see why you like her so much,” Jo said. “She’s adorable and I’m guessing a bit of a handful.”
“She’s you at that age,” her mom announced. Which was quickly followed up by her dad’s grunt of agreement.
Spencer laughed. “Not sure how you made it through then. I’m only around Ellie a handful of times a week and I am exhausted when I leave the center.”
Jo narrowed her eyes at Spencer. “Watch it, Hughes. Someday you’re going to have kids and I’m going to hope every single one of them is just like Ellie.”
“I wouldn’t hate it,” he admitted. “I’d just need lots of naps.”
The four of them laughed until one of the volunteers came and grabbed Spencer and her mom a minute later. Jo hugged them both, then followed her dad back the way they’d come and out to the nearly full auditorium. Amelia and Rebecca had already grabbed seats near the center of the building, but thankfully, toward the end of the row. Jo didn’t know if she’d survive feeling trapped in the middle.
By the time they made it to their seats, there was only enough time for a quick introduction between Jo and Rebecca before the show started. Even though she knew she shouldn’t be, Jo was thankful for the lack of time. While meeting Ellie had been easy for Jo, the woman who stole her other best friend’s heart was a different story entirely. She’d need to be in a different mindset before she took on all that the encounter entailed.
Loud music pulsed through the auditorium, which quieted the hum of conversation. The influx of auditory stimulus finally hit her after the third production. Jo’s knuckles ached from the grip she had on the armrests. She knew she had to do something before she ended up cracking a tooth from clenching her jaw, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for the questions that would come along with her walking out. If she could get outside, she knew her system would regulate, and she’d be able to make it through the rest of the show. She just wasn’t sure how to make an exit without drawing too much attention.
“I need to use the restroom, I’ll be right back,” she whispered to her dad before standing up far quicker than she should’ve to make a covert exit.
She hurried up the walkway to the back of the auditorium, then pushed her way through the door as quietly as she could. Once the door closed behind her, she nearly sprinted to the exit, her nervous system dangerously close to meltdown status.
The instant the cold air hit her skin, Jo felt relief cascade over her. Her fists unclenched, her jaw loosened. She took a few deep breaths, loving the way the air burned in her lungs. Each exhale was a puff of steam that drew her focus away from how she’d felt inside the building. She knew she had to go back inside at some point. There were two hours left until the pageant was over, and it was too cold outside for her to stay out there for the rest of the night.
Plus, she was too damn stubborn. She was going to have to figure out how to make it through the rest of the night without losing her shit. It looked like frequent bathroom breaks were in order. Otherwise, Jo wasn’t sure she’d survive.
Author Paris Hansen 